You know I wasn’t always “The Dream Pusher…”
WHO am I?
WHY am I here?
WHAT am I supposed to DO?
And HOW am I supposed to DO IT?
These are the biggest questions that plague humanity. No matter the race, religion, gender, creed or ual orientation – these are questions that ring in our hearts and in the shadows of our minds. Just waiting for God, for the universe, for ANYONE to pick up the phone and give us an answer. Shoot, we’ll even settle for a sign. Because, these questions- when undiscovered, will lead to desperation; And that desperation backs you into a corner and you will either live in that corner, cramped with regret and suffocating with potential, or you will dare to evolve…
I was standing in the middle of the living room in a daze, tears in my eyes, clouded thoughts, a heavy heart and a bottle of pills in my hand. I looked down at my feet and thought to myself, “Quicksand?”
See, I was at such a deep and dark place in my life. I was sinking. I didn’t know how to pull myself out because I was too heavy to step forward. And with a new marriage, becoming a new mom, going through major health challenges, a move to a new state, and career shift; everything changed in what seemed like a moment. I went through a revolving door and stepped into another world that I was unfamiliar with. So, I got heavier.
My feet were in quicksand.
See, many people are not aware that quicksand itself, is not the element that would immediately cause you to sink once you step into it. No. That’s a misconception. It is how you move while you’re in the substance. How you respond to your oppositions, trials, transitions that will cause you to dig yourself deeper or pull yourself out.
Sometimes we are faced with situations, circumstances and/or choices and because of the weight of the issue, the agitation that was intended to cause us to move, we became comfortable with. And instead of making a shift, we stayed. We stayed, unpacked our bags and began to build our lives, our perceptions and our dreams on the very ground that was already slipping beneath us. Why? Complacency kept us there. Fear kept us there. Lack of knowledge kept us there. Indecision kept us there. And as a result, quicksand formed around our feet and now our very foundation is being shaken. And that is when the real test begins.
Understand, that this is a critical moment when everything will either be SIFTED or SHIFTED! You can no longer support the weight of where you are currently in your life. You know it and you feel it. It is time to address the areas of your life where quicksand has formed. The areas that you have been asking, seeking, praying or waiting for help or guidance in: your purpose, marriage, divorce, career, obtaining your abundance, parenting, faith, self-esteem, financial growth, loss of a loved one, or any major life changing decision- Whatever area you have been trying to grasp, whether you know it or not, has become a sensitive area. And, although those areas may appear “solid” to the naked eye- When we go through life smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside, that ground has become like quicksand, and the slightest agitation could cause us to erupt at any moment…
I took the bottle of pills, days after surgery. Still bleeding, in excruciating pain, and I rushed to the bathroom and locked the door. I sat on the toilet rocking and crying… How Ironic? How could I just birth one of the greatest “joys” of my life and yet, the very vessel that carried her was so broken, unsure and ready to take her own life? I wanted, no, I needed any type of relief from this moment. I was open. I was vulnerable. My pain had a pulse that my heart couldn’t keep up with.
So, that internal enemy used that moment to take an occasion and I was the guest of honor. And that is when the battle began to transform. Faith and the spirit of depression began to wage war and the victor would have my life. It was as if I was having an out-of-body experience. I knew and saw what was happening, but I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything about it. Have you ever been there? Have you ever looked back at some of your greatest life challenges, and thought to yourself… “How in the hell did I survive that?!”
Suddenly, my husband knocked on the door… No answer. He shook the doorknob. No response. The door is forced open and he rips the bottle from my hand that I had grasped so tight. He was standing there yelling something to me, but I couldn’t make it out. Everything was muffled. The daze, blurred vision, the tears, the thoughts… I couldn’t snap out of it. He picked me up and assisted me to the couch.
I just couldn’t stop crying. So, there I was… now sitting on the sofa, looking down at the floor because of the shame of what I was about to do and because of the hurt that drove me to attempt what I thought I wanted to do. Looking down, I saw my feet again- “Quicksand.”
I then realized that how I moved next while in this transition was going to mean life or death. I had to catch the revelation of where I was in my life. No more faking. No more pretending that I was ok, because I wasn’t. I didn’t know who I was or who I was becoming; and the only way to find out? Well… was to RE:discover myself.
And in 2012 “RE:discoverU” a 21 Day interactive online journey was birthed. Volume I. “Mind. Body. Soul” and Volume II. “Love. . Marriage” I stepped out on faith and as a result, we touched over 45,000 lives internationally. And from there, I’ve been blessed to become an #1 International Best Selling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker.
So, Why do I ROCK?
It’s because when I wanted to Die… I decided I was going to LIVE!
I ROCK because I am a Wife, Mother of 4 beautiful children, CEO, and an OVERCOMER!
I ROCK because I have made it my Life’s Mission to be the PUSH that women and young ladies need to get to their NEXT! Their GREATER! and Their MORE!
I ROCK because that very day, at that very moment years ago when I wanted to sink in that quicksand, I decided to RISE!
I ROCK because I had the audacity to EVOLVE!
I ROCK, simply because… I “CHOOSE” to ROCK! #EveryDay
Blessings to all of the Beautiful and POWERFUL Black Girls all over the globe! I look forward to PUSHING you!
“The Dream Pusher”